This is a balance, of course, a matter of degree. Many clients I talk to would do well to take a look at their self/other balance and see where adjustments can be made. Or at the very least begin to see that they would benefit from making their own needs more of a priority from time to time. And that, by the way, isn’t necessarily to the detriment of others; rather it’s more likely to lead to a win-win for all concerned, for many reasons.
Holding yourself as worthy, as significant – intrinsically, essentially and unconditionally – is tough, yet so valuable, especially when it comes to our relationship with food. With a low sense of self-worth, the reaction to stress and overwhelm often involves a fair bit of wine and refined carbohydrates. It’s like, “at the end of the day, after running around doing whatever it is that everyone else wants, this is what I do for me.”
Except that it isn’t. Not least because that’s creating even more stress – and the associated inflammation – in your body.
You could, instead, develop an internal conversation where you simply refuse to continue with this particular hamster wheel. Where you ask yourself at least sometimes and more often:
- What’s really best for me here, out of all the options available?
- In what ways could I truly honour myself now, or any time during the day today?
- Can I think of myself as a highly respected friend, who has nothing whatsoever to prove?
- And how would I behave in these circumstances if I were amazing, unconditionally lovable and perfect in all of my imperfections?
The most direct route may be to take a breath and bring yourself into the present time. Be here now, as the saying goes.
And give yourself a hug for taking the time to read this!
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